How To Survive The First Three Months Postpartum

So you're having a baby!

You have spent the last 8 months preparing for the birth. Now this new baby is almost here and you don't have any idea how you are going to manage the challenges once he arrives.

Fear and apprehension sets in and you suddenly feel sick because you don't know if you can do it.

Here are some of the things you can do to make it through those early weeks.

Coping With Fatigue

The first and greatest concern new mothers have is fatigue. How will you ever get enough sleep?

I always suggest to new moms to stay in their pajamas. This sends a message to everyone that you need to rest. Have your baby sleep in the same room with you. Have her in a bassinet, co-sleeper or Moses basket right next to you so can tend to her needs and feed her on cue.

You want to sleep when the baby sleeps and you can't do that or won't do that because you get distracted with other things going on in the house. Stay in bed till you get the numbers of hours you normally get before getting up and dressed and showered even if it takes all day.

Have everything set up right there close to you and in arms reach. Have breakfast and lunch brought to you in bed if possible that first week so you can get the maximum amount of rest. I literally camped out in my bedroom with my son the first week and only came out late afternoon to help with dinner and be with the rest of my family for a few hours before returning back to my room. This allowed me to get lots of rest and recover from my c-section.

This may sound like it is impossible to do but it is not.

Have family help or hire help (a trained Postpartum Doula is a lifesaver!) if necessary and your only job is to eat, sleep and take care of your baby. Nothing else! You are on vacation from all other responsibilities.

If you take this time the weeks ahead will be smoother because you will be more in tune with your baby and will have recovered from the birth in a shorter period of time.

Foods and Fluids

To make the early weeks go smoothly and allow yourself to rest you need to be well fed and well hydrated. Drink lots of water. If you don't have to do the cooking or preparation it will allow you more sleep time.

Have at least 2 to 4 weeks of planned meals. This could happen several different ways:

Some professional Postpartum Doulas like our trained and certified Doula's at Triangle Mothercare in Chapel Hill North Carolina, will prepare meals for you in addition to caring for you and your baby.

One of these or a combination of the above items will help you get the nutrition you need with little or no time spent cooking and preparing so you can do other things like rest and take care of your baby.

Also make sure you have a lot of easy nutritious snacks in your pantry or kitchen as you will need to eat frequently especially if your breastfeeding. Smoothies are a great way to get extra calories. They are healthy, filling and easy to eat when you have a baby in your arms.

Feeding the Baby

The biggest job and sometimes one of the more challenging if your breastfeeding is making sure your baby is getting enough milk.

Breastfed babies need to eat every 2 to 3 hours or about 8 to 12 times per day (24 hrs.).

That's why I tell Mom that during the first 2 weeks all she should plan to do is eat, sleep and feed her baby. Having your baby close to you allows you to do that more easily and read her early cues so feeding can be an enjoyable experience.

I strongly recommend you hire a trained, certified, Postpartum Doula or an experienced breastfeeding support caregiver to help you in the home during the early weeks to get you off to a good start and coach you. This can help prevent breastfeeding problems. If you would like to know more about breastfeeding you baby please read my other articles.

If you are bottle-feeding make sure you know how to prepare formula. Follow the directions on the label exactly when preparing formula. You can make up bottles a head of time but never more than one day's worth. It is recommended that formula be used within 24 hours after opened or prepared.

Your Feelings and The Baby Blues

It is important to talk about your birth with someone you feel comfortable with. It helps you process the experience and overcome any feelings of disappointment if the birth did not go exactly as planned.

Baby Blues are common during the first week but should go away after that. If you continue to feel depressed, anxious or can't sleep seek talk with your doctor or look into attending a support group.

Let the housework go, accept help, take time for yourself, eat properly, exercise or take a walk daily and take naps to get the extra sleep you need.

Friends and Family

If you are planning on having family come and help you during this time here are some of the things you should consider to get the most out of their visits.

Make sure family members or friends come at different times so you can maximize the help they will provide.

If you know they will not be helpful schedule their visit to be short.

If you feel they will be a big help and know how to support and help you during this time schedule their stay accordingly.

Give them specific duties they can do during their stay that will be the most helpful to you. You may want to discuss this with them before they visit.

Many grandparents want to help but don't know what to do so let them know how they can best help you during this time.

Set up visiting hours so you do not have friends coming in and out all day long.

This way you can still rest, have quiet time with your baby and not be exhausted from too many visitors that mean well but forget what it's like during those early weeks when you have had little or no sleep.

Lastly, remember to set boundaries for yourself and others.

While you might get offers of help from parents, consider getting through the first two months with a limited amount of grandmotherly help so you and the baby bond well together.

However, good quality help is recommended during this time and if relatives are not available, you might want to include in your research and planning hiring a professional, trained and certified Postpartum Doula.